Dear Homer (Mr Homer? Is it a forename or aftername?)

We cannot help but question your motives in submitting this Iliad… novel. It reads like one of  an epic series of books planned by a teenage boy with too much time on his hands.

You begin in the middle of the action, and end in the middle of the action. What the hell were you thinking? We need to start with Helen running away with Paris, and end with the destruction of Troy. (We glanced ahead at your plan for the entire cycle, and that ending is far too depressing. Achilles needs to redeem himself, there has to be a happy ending for the lovers, the villains get their just desserts, and absolutely NO throwing children off walls).

As for the characters… far, far too many. Your protagonist, Achilles, sulks and vanishes from the story for ages! We have some other hero (Diode-eems?) taking his place in the first battle instead. Why oh why have two characters called Ajax?

The supernatural content does not work. We realise there is a regrettable tradition of having magical elements in fantasy fiction, but this just will not wash. It is hard enough to believe in your characters without gods and goddesses suddenly dropping in to reverse their decision-making or the effects of their words, and as for stirring up firestorms etc…

The violence is a little too much to chase the main market for this book; it comes in a level of detail more suited to 1980’s horror films, and in enormous, repetitive quantities. Speaking of which, that chapter that does nothing but list the military forces in detail… you should know what to do with it.

Come to think of it, you should know what to do with the whole thing: not even Peter Jackson would touch this.

Best of luck elsewhere.

B. M. Agent

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About jamestucker1972

Aspiring writer!
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One Response to Dear Homer (Mr Homer? Is it a forename or aftername?)

  1. agrrosewood says:

    While I haven’t read the Iliad (I know, it’s a shame), taking Latin classes for six years has taught me enough about it. Even my teachers did not really like it, although we had to translate parts of it. This is amazing! It would fit perfectly in today’s literary world.

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